Fr. Paschal Mary, MFVA | November 22, 2025
Memorial of Children who died before Baptism
We come today before one of the most crushing mysteries of our fallen state, the loss of a child. By intuition and the experience of enduring grief we know for certain that the realities of miscarriage, abortion and infant death should not be so. This is a fear which touches our deepest person and often places in question our identity as beloved children of God.
One of the most touching scenes in the gospels is when Jesus blesses the children. Our Lord says, “Let the children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus gives us hope that there is a way to Him, a way to salvation for those who died before Baptism. He had rebuked the people who were keeping them from him and actively called the children to Himself. In Mark we hear “he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands upon them.”
We are invited by the Church to hope in the salvation of children who died before baptism, and to entrust them to God who is full of mercy and compassion, who desires all to be saved and to come to knowledge of His love. We are invited to pray for their salvation.
Thankfully, as painful as it is, the realities of miscarriage, abortion and the loss of a child before baptism are more openly being talked about. The world does not mourn their loss and the mothers (and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, and friends who truly feel) are left to bear no longer life but an unbearable grief. The hope and life they once bore has given way to a place of sorrows.
One of the deepest laments of the human heart is in response to the loss of a child. Jeremiah (31:15, 16c-17) prophesying of those who were taken of to Babylon, reads:
Thus says the Lord: “A voice is heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping. Rachel is weeping for her children; she refuses to be comforted for her children, because they are no more.” … Thus says the Lord: “they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope for your future, says the Lord, and your children shall come back to their own country.”
This lament was taken back up in the Gospel of Matthew in response to describe the massacre of the innocents, massacred by will of King Herod. The trauma of Bethlehem is unimaginable, the sorrow of the hearts of Joseph and Mary when they would have heard the news would have been so deep and shared already by the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
Now, in this moment, we are encouraged to offer up the pain in our hearts at the loss of our little ones. We who have carried this grief in exile, in isolation, have been brought together by Jesus as He has longs to gather the chicks as a hen hovers over her brood, as He mourned over Jerusalem as its Savior He weeps with us over the loss, offering now His friendship, His embrace, His consoling touch.
Do not hinder expressing the grief. Martha has boldly stated to Our Lord that had He been there the one He loved would not have died. And when Jesus saw Mary’s grief he could not help but weep. Your tears are precious to Jesus. He has not left you or your children abandoned or rejected. So we do not hinder them to come to Jesus, to go to Jesus. And we pray that one day we will see them in His arms, the Good Shepherd who gathers the little ones in his arms.