A frail testimony of life
Fr. Paschal Mary | July 27, 2026
Life always seems to include the unexpected. If fact, the unknown is much of everything that we can expect with success. Yesterday one of these happy occasions was discovered in a testimony given during the afternoon of a symposium. Without the text I have little ability to recreate the context, but a brief point about love led to a broader horizon that I will be coming back to in the coming days.
From time-to-time I have come across this thought: that there was two loves at the Cross. Irrespective of the the strangely soteriological song of Bob Marley, “One Love,” or The Four Loves of C.S. Lewis, there are in fact as many loves as there are creatures bound to Love.
Recently I visited friends that somehow I thought I knew well, only to find that I had made an initial assumption about where they were in life. They had asked to come to Mass with me – they too missed that I was a Priest. I loved them, but in a self-protective way, one that was afraid to ask what before it was offered. All I knew is that the husband had a collection of Crucifixes and Rosaries and his wife made the latter for out of love for her spouse. Love is Patient.
At Calvary there are as many loves as there are persons, and beyond. In each soul there is a near-infinity of moments where our hearts are caught up in desires for good whether for the other or for our own. Jesus included. He suffers (from the Latin patiens) out of Love and in love for each of the persons who approached the Cross (and for all).
There is so much to say about the Love who is Jesus at the Cross (aka, more Substacks to come), but I want to bring out this section from John 12:
27 “Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But for this purpose I have come to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven: “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” 29 The crowd that stood there and heard it said that it had thundered. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” 30 Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not mine. 31 Now is the judgment of this world; now will the ruler of this world be cast out. 32 And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” 33 He said this to show by what kind of death he was going to die.
All shall be drawn when Love is lifted up, no one will be left on the ground. Or maybe we should say we will be on our face in awe and adoration or on our back in fear and refusal. Jesus’ Glory, present at the Baptism in the reception of the Father’s Love in the Spirit will thunder again. Judgement will be had; the ruler of this world will be cast out.
When Our Lord approaches His Passion, John will note that this was a love to the end (cf. 13:1-4) and yet there is not the agony of holy self-protection in the Gethsemane scenes but a proclamation of identity, “I AM He” (cf. Jn 18). Why this variation, this power Who lays the persecutor flat and then heals the ear of the servant?
Jesus does not seem to have time for mixed loves, yet so often it is allowed. Thanks be to God that He is patient with each one of us. How mixed my loves have been. The soldiers who Crucified Him in obedience to Pilate, the voice of the crowds, the gross pleasure of the Sanhedrin all come forth from a desire that could only lead, if unrepented, to self-destruction. Even those who came to greet the Christ would have to make sense of their grief. After all, Peter won’t even let Jesus wash his feet, how is he to understand the Exultation of the King in such a surprising way? How can the Cross be the greatest of Loves and yet mocked and desecrated?
Some of the greatest sorrows of this life is when our love is refused, rebuked, is requited, or is just not there. We know we should love, but just can not find the energy. And even then so much of these moments are mired in self-love (or self-hatred!). God, Love, be patient with us as we search for this Love.